Moni and Cardinal Jozsef Mindszenty

Dear Mr. Steverson,
Following our yesterday’s conversation, I’m still shocked. I’ve become very curious about my distant family tie with József Mindszenty, so I’m going to check it up soon. I hope that I’m going to have good news about it.
Yours sincerely,
Mónika (Oct. 1, '14)

I was delighted to meet you. Thank you for following through on our initial conversation. I feel excited about making your acquaintance.
I do not know where our friendship and our relationship will lead, but I am excited about getting started.
This is a good way to communicate. Until we find a better way, I suggest we use this FB message as a way to communicate.
I need to get to know you better. I am getting acquainted with your distant relative, Jozsef Cardinal Mindszenty. That is a good place for us to start; it is where we first found common ground. That will not be the total sum and substance of our involvement, I think and I hope.
Let me think out loud. This is premature, but I want us to produce a credible body of material that the world and history needs. That might be a series of articles, or stories, or a book or two.
I would like to know what you have written already. Have you published anything? Do you write a blog or anything else that is published and public?
What have you written? What is your educational level? BA? MA? PHd? Do you work? Are you a teacher? Where do you teach? Where have you taught before?
How big is your family? Who else in your family shares your enthusiasm for Mindszenty? How will they react to your discussing him with me? Are there any family secrets, or any dirty linen that other family members may not want to make public?

I think that is enough for now. i do not want to overwhelm you. But, I want to produce a book of some sort that can be marketed worldwide from America. We can workout the details of how we want to distribute the proceeds or profits that may results. Yes, I am optimistic. I think and hope that there will be profits. This will be fun, but this is not a hobby. This is an academic pursuit but it will be for profit.

When you have had time to digest all of this, please get back to me.

I do not want our private conversations and arrangement to be discussed at the Book Club. What we decide to do will be private and personal until we make it public. Bogi has no right to be a party to our arrangements. We need to maintain confidential communications until we decide what we are doing and where we are going. Do you agree?

I will look at your FB page, but it will not answer all of my questions and will not tell me all that I need to know.

Again, Thanks for your good faith in me, and for your new friendship. I am a dreamer. I dream big. I have a vivid imagination.

Szia,

Dear Judge London,

I will answer your questions soon!

Szia, Móni

October 3rd, 11:56pm

OK. We have plenty of time. I hope I did not hit you with too much at once, but we have to start somewhere. As the old saying goes: a journey of one thousand miles must begin with a single step. Right?? I like your Facebook page. Szia, London

October 4th, 7:19am

Dear Judge London,
First I have to apologize for being late, but I had some technical problems in the last few days. My laptop has just died, my daughter’s computer was in the service, I borrowed a pc from my school, but it was very, very slow and now the internet connection is really wrong. I know it sounds a little bit mysterious for an American, but…
Oh…you asked me so many questions!!!….but I’ll try to answer them all. It is very nice from you that you are curious of me.
I liked very much when you identified yourself as a dreamer. It is good news for me and for the world that there are dreamers with huge heart and a mind and body full of energy.
I asked Bogi about your work for the American Corner and I think it is really respectable and appreciated. I saw your facebook photos and I congratulate you to your nice family and your beautiful children.
As you wish I would like to announce that our conversations are private, I won’t share our topics with anyone until we decide otherwise.
I hope we will have a productive work together. If there was some profit I would be satisfied with the feeling of “no more worry about the monthly bills”. I’m not greedy at all, and I don’t have big dreams about the money. My salary in the school is enough for a moderate living. But: “If I were a rich man… ” I would find the ways to support children
Don’t you mind if I send my message in sections?

October 4th, 11:28am

I have a BA degree in a Teacher Training College of University of West Hungary of Győr. I teach in a junior section of an elementary school in Várpalota. I’m appreciated in my school and town.
Few years ago I’ve decided to study English in the University of Pannonia in Veszprém. I‘ve already accomplished about 120 credit points of 180 in BA. It is enough for me to be admitted to the MA course of next February, once I would like to get the MA degree.

I mean: in February

October 4th, 12:47pm

Only my closest friends (my brother, my daughter and a friend from my childhood, and 2 or three of my colleges) know my intentions to translate books from English to Hungarian and write my own book after I will be 50. I used to say: “You will see, once, when I’m old enough, I will just sit down and I will write and write, because my head is full of stories and a lively imagination.
Basically l’m reserved, and this is why it is so interesting and hard to me to write about myself. Otherwise I’m very sociable, I like to amuse the people around me.

October 5th, 2:36am

I made a sketch about my family and I signed with red the branch of my family tree at issue. If I know it well, my grandfather’s mother came from the Phem family, and József Mindszenty’s birth name was József Phem, so his father came from the Phem family, as well.

October 5th, 3:40am

You asked me if I had a publication. I had just 2 or 3 short articles in the local newspaper about the open-air school what I had organized first in my elementary school. Once I was asked to write some thoughts about the unemployment in a first issue of a local newspaper but the second issue was the last one in the life of this newspaper.
I really enjoyed the work on my examination paper in the university, in 1986. I chose a very unusual topic at that time, “The operation of the alternative churches in Hungary”. It was very strange for our teacher, but I liked to search and visit these places and asked people about their religions. (At that time I was in the middle of looking for my own church and my own religion.)
In 1988, after I had come home from the USA, I found a tale writing competition in an American newspaper. I think I was very naive but I sent two of my stories there. They answered me soon, and they suggested me very politely that it would be better to write in my mother tongue first. They were absolutely right.
That is all about my writings. Since my writings are mostly in my diaries because I used to write by hand. But most of the stories are still in my head. I prefer short stories.

Few words about “my English knowledge”: I gained basic knowledge of English language during my studies in the high school. Since that I have never taken part English language courses. I tried to learn by myself but the stops and restarts are not best way to learn a language.

Wednesday 3:45pm

The hardest part is coming...about my family.There is one thing you should know to understand me. I should write it down only for the facts. And you should know that I’ve already forgiven all of the persons included in my story. Now I know that I was born with a more mature soul than my family members had, so finally I found peace.
My father and mother loved each other very much. They were very intelligent and good persons, my father was a technician, a politician, a guitar player, a tennis player, but became an alcoholic for almost 20 years, than he suddenly gave up drinking. My mother was a bookkeeper. She loved her work very much and loved to help others. I have a brother, he is 5 years younger than me, and he is a senior manager at an American firm in Nemesvámos. So, my parents were nice and helpful people, but I was never in safe because they lived like the hippies. We often had big companies at home, they were drinking and singing. My task was to keep it secret (not to tell this to my grandmother), and the next day to collect the empty bottles and change them in the shop to buy some food for my brother and me, and look after my brother. I attended a high school in Várpalota, and tried to keep our real life in secret in front of my teachers. I did it with success. I just couldn’t stop reading books. I read day and night. Books were my only shelters.
After the school leaving exam I was admitted as full time student to the University of Győr. In the first term I became familiar with hunger and I always felt cold. My father was in bad condition, and my mother was the only breadwinner. Then I decided to accept my first love proposal, got married with him, became a half time student, started to work in a kindergarten, gave young children extra lessons in the afternoons, prepared for the exams at night. So I was busy. My husband and I were children, almost the same age, 18 and 19. He spoke English and Russian fluently. My cousin, who was an engineer at a Nitrogen Factory of Pétfürdő, gave him a job as a translator. At that time a huge investment project started in this factory and my husband guided Japanese and Belgian businessmen everywhere …included bars and night clubs. Everyone knew his real life except me. Our divorce was a 2 years long “horror story”.
After the divorce I was depressed and I think it was the only time when I asked for help. In 1987 my uncle from the USA wanted to see the family and we, the closest family members traveled to Vienna to meet him. It was the first occasion when my mother met her beloved brother. They haven’t seen each other until 1956.

Friday 1:23pm

My uncle Vic was a very smart and disobedient child. They lived in a 200 meter distance from one of the largest Russian soldier basis in Europe, it was in Hajmáskér. Normally he attended Davidikum in Veszprém but often played truant and went to the soldiers, made a lot of friends. My grandparents often searched him desperately everywhere. In 1956 , when the Russians occupied Budapest, he went into the melting pot and became their mortal enemy. He took part in the fights in Várpalota, and when he said good bye to his mother, he cried terribly. He left Hungary, and emigrated to the USA. The family hasn’t heard about him anything for two years, they didn’t know he was dead or alive. He became a pilot in the US Army, served as a test pilot for the NASA, then for the Israel Army, and then became President Bota’s private pilot in South Africa. I think it is a big shame, but I don’t have the right to judge him. Otherwise I know he is not a racist, he explained me that he had got a very good salary at that time. Until he became retired he worked as private pilot in the USA. He had a very interesting and exciting life and traveled all over the world. One of his son from his first wife was born in 1957 in Hungary. They first met in the late 1970’s in the USA. His second son was born from his American wife but Steven was 21 when died in a plane crash. My uncle had three more wives but right now he lives alone in Florida.

Szia Moni, Missed you last Tuesday, but Bogi told me where you were. Thanks for this anecdote. It is a good background info.

Dear London, Your welcome . Would you like to be followed?

I know my English is almost terrible...

Yes, by all means, follow me. And I will follow you. I want to get to know you and your inner circle of friends and family as close as possible. It will give me a better feel for what we can create together.

Your English is fine. It is much better than my Hungarian.

I feel honored. Thank you.

Next Tuesday in the Book Club we can speak Hungarian...if you want

Oh, please, NO!!

My Anyos would not let me try to speak Hungarian around my children. She said I ruined their pronunciation.

maybe you should be obedient

I do, always.

May the Force (and the Peace ?) be with you.

21 minutes ago

We met my uncle Vic in Vienna. We had all night and all day long conversations so it was a very nice time we spent together. He offered an invitation for me and his son Győző to work and live in the USA. Győző didn’t want to accept the invitation because he had just met a girl before, but I asked him for help, because I wanted to change my depressed life in Hungary. In Hungary I had a flat of my own which was given me by the town council for the hope of my long term work in the school. But after the divorce I had lost this flat and I had to live together with my parents…so it was terrible again.
I traveled to the USA in 1988. I was in a very bad state of mind. But I was full of good hopes. My uncle was really nice with me. We had lots of conversation about his life in Hungary and in the USA, as well. As he was a private pilot in a small plan at that time, he asked his boss’s permition, and I could fly with him so many beautiful places. I’m still very grateful for him for these experiences. His third wife was a Jewish girl and she was still in Israel for few months. I have seen many beautiful places, met new people, so it was a really nice time in my life. But I wanted to stay in the USA, and asked my uncle to help me to find a job. And this was our first conflict. He didn’t want me to work illegally because of the emigration. Now I understand his way of thinking but I couldn’t agree with him at that time. He wanted me to stay with them and wanted me to marry with one of his friends. They were very nice, friendly and helpful people and they gave me proposals but it was not my way of thinking. Finally my uncle offered me to stay and learn, and find a course at the Santa Barbara University. He offered me that he will pay my education for a while. I could hardly imagine that it is true. I was so happy. I had never dreamt about it before. It was simply unbelievable. I started to plan my new life. I decided to attend language course first and to work somehow as a babysitter for Hungarian families. I didn’t want to ask all the fees from my uncle.
But this happiness suddenly disappeared because my uncle’s wife arrived from Israel. She tried to be friendly with me, but I think she didn’t leave my uncle to support me.
Few months later I came back to Hungary. My uncle still calls me a little bit silly girl because I didn’t get married in the USA. Later he has never mentioned the university again. I really sorry but we are in very rare telephone contact. But my brother speaks with him almost every month. Few years later he supported my brother’s study in the USA to become an airplane mechanic.

I respect your choices. But, we have to live with the choices we make. It was a good experience. Perhaps, the time was not right for you to stay in USA.

Chat Conversation End

After I had come home from the USA I found a job at a Children Care Institute in Veszprém, and I had worked there for three years.
In the meantime my mother found a good job and my family run a small hotel and a restaurant in our town as a small scale enterprise. Then they rented two pubs also. So I had two ( or I don’t even know how many) jobs. To make it shorter:
I met my second husband and we have a daughter, Flora. We didn’t live together for long but we still have a good relationship to bring up our child in a normal way. We still have a common house, but he lives and works in Germany. In the last 15 years I live alone. It means I’m not a single woman but a nun. Maybe it is interesting but serious. I have no church but I’ve become deeply religious. The people around me accepted it because they see I’m happy and satisfied in this state. They know that I like to be alone and this is the best way for me to live my life and I found the peace that I was looking for.
15 years before my mother has died after a two years long illness. Then I had to nurse my grandmother until she died at her 92. Five years ago my father became ill and died after a short illness. My mother’s sister lives in the next village but I’m not in contact with her. She is a very greedy person. Her God is the money, I think.
I brought up my daughter alone, but with her father’s financial support. She has just moved to his father to live in Germany 2 weeks ago. She is a beautiful, lovely 21 years old girl.
I teach as an elementary school teacher at a school in Várpalota for 18 years. Teaching and my daughter are the most important in my life. When she became more and more independent I decided to study. I learn English at the University of Pannonia. I hope one day I will be graduated….

Chat Conversation End

After I had come home from the USA I found a job at a Children Care Institute in Veszprém, and I had worked there for three years.
In the meantime my mother found a good job and my family run a small hotel and a restaurant in our town as a small scale enterprise. Then they rented two pubs also. So I had two ( or I don’t even know how many) jobs. To make it shorter:
I met my second husband and we have a daughter, Flora. We didn’t live together for long but we still have a good relationship to bring up our child in a normal way. We still have a common house, but he lives and works in Germany. In the last 15 years I live alone. It means I’m not a single woman but a nun. Maybe it is interesting but serious. I have no church but I’ve become deeply religious. The people around me accepted it because they see I’m happy and satisfied in this state. They know that I like to be alone and this is the best way for me to live my life and I found the peace that I was looking for.
15 years before my mother has died after a two years long illness. Then I had to nurse my grandmother until she died at her 92. Five years ago my father became ill and died after a short illness. My mother’s sister lives in the next village but I’m not in contact with her. She is a very greedy person. Her God is the money, I think.
I brought up my daughter alone, but with her father’s financial support. She has just moved to his father to live in Germany 2 weeks ago. She is a beautiful, lovely 21 years old girl.
I teach as an elementary school teacher at a school in Várpalota for 18 years. Teaching and my daughter are the most important in my life. When she became more and more independent I decided to study. I learn English at the University of Pannonia. I hope one day I will be graduated….

Dear Judge London,
I’m working on our project and I haven’t found the relation between my and Cardinal Mindszenty’s family so far. But I have made some interesting statements in connection with it. I knew that it won't be very easy to find the trail of my ancestors but really suprised me that I could hardly find some documents on Cardinal Mindszenty’s family. I didn’t found his family tree and I’m not sure if it exists. If there is no family tree of him at all it would be interesting to make it. I’m still searching the trails of his family members on the Internet and in the libraries. There are some nice moments in this search, for example, I have found my grandparents’ original birth registers in the registry book, and now I know their parents’ name , as well. So, it is interesting…
I would like to find documents and data about Cardinal Mindszenty’s sisters but some of the sources hardly mention them. His mother visited him 3 or 4 times in the jail but I would like to know where were his sisters.
So my work is in progress. I know it won’t be easy but I found it more and more interesting.
I hope you are ok. See you at the Thanksgiving Party!
Szia.

Dear Judge London,
I just want to share with you some little success. I've found the records on all the sisters and brothers of Cardinal Mindszenty.
szia.